8:31am: Joe sends me a message 'Brad from Zieglers left me a voicemail to call him back... my knees are shaking'
8:33am: I respond 'Yes!!! praise God! go call him right now!'
8:52am: Nathan rolled over for the first time from back to tummy
9:16am: I get another message from Joe '$xx.xx/hr $xxx.xx a month for Blue Cross Blue Shield medical and dental included and they start after 30 days. need to call him back with a start date'
9:16am: me to Joe 'OMG!!'
9:18am: me to Joe 'You did it Joey! u did it! tell him the week after Christmas! Next monday if they r open! or the 1st Monday of Jan'
9:42am: Mom calls me to let me know Grandpa just died.
Really!? Why does good news always have to have bad news to follow? I can't be happy about Joe getting a job with such a heavy sadness on my plate and ITS NOT FAIR TO JOE! I should be able to be happy with him! But NOOOO!! Dont get me wrong because I am VERY happy that he has gotten a job! But the sadness I feel with loosing Grandpa today makes me remember the awful sadness that I felt September 2, 2004 when Grandma died. I dont think I have ever gotten out of bed so fast and had all of my siblings packed so tight in my little 1999 Ford Taurus before.. We raced to Apple Valley to be with her even though she had passed.. We prayed and spent time with the family. This time its a little different.. I am at home with 3 kids, my cousins are scattered all over the state and one is even across the country, and... and... I knew it was coming and I still wasnt prepared for this!! I refuse to let his passing ruin Christmas. Because we should all be happy that he isnt in pain anymore and that he is finally with Grandma and God. Yes we are sad because we will miss him, but knowing that he is no longer in pain is such a relief all on its own..
Joe offered to come home but I can't let him come home.. A.) it wouldnt do any good because I wont go to St Louis Park by myself. B.) my mom already had 1/2 of the family meeting her there. C.) because he only has 3 work days this week and we cant afford for him to miss any more time for the week.
I just am having a hard time accepting that today is THE DAY that he was meant to leave us. I wasnt prepared.. I thought I was prepared before I got the news because we had all already gone up to the hospital to say our goodbyes.. but you can NEVER be prepared to loose someone! I dont care who you are. It just doesnt work that way.
You will forever be missed and loved Grandpa!! Please give Grandma hugs and kisses from me and tell her I miss her SO much! And dont forget to tell her about the great-grandbabies that she never got to meet.
Me & Grandpa @ the wedding 11/19/05
Grandpa, Me & Joe @ our wedding 11/19/05
Grandpa @ Our wedding 11/19/05
again @ our wedding 11/19/05
and again @ our wedding 11/19/05
Grandpa and baby Lillian Grace 8/10/09
Grandpa and Nathan holding hands 12/4/10
Grandpa and Nathan 12/4/10
Grandpa and Natalie 2/23/07
Unfortunately I dont have a picture of Grandpa and Kaylee on my computer. And all of my non digital pictures are in storage and I dont have time to go find one right now.
Remember to hug your loved ones every day and tell them how much you love them because you never know when your last chance may be.
wow...you sure know how to get a person crying! lol. it was very nice! i love the pictures! it hurts so much worse remembering him when he was healthy and happy! R.I.P grandpa! Love You!!!
ReplyDeleteThose pictures are precious Mary. Like you said, remember that he isn't in pain. After ~6years without her, he gets to spend Christmas with his Wife, your Grandma. How happy they both must be! What a great present that is.
ReplyDeleteHUGE HUGE HUGE Congratulations to Joe and the job. That's fantastic news. Life throws ya punches, this is one of them. What a day of such huge emotions..WAY up and then all of a sudden WAY down.