So another year passes by and not a WHOLE lot has been very exciting.. I cringe at the sound of being '25'! Thats half way to 50 thank you very much! And that also means if I have to grow up, so do my kids. I'd now like to freeze time for the next 5 years please...
Ok so it's not the end of the world, but I guess I would have thought it to be a big deal.. Maybe 'celebrated' might be a better word. I kid you not, my birthdays have not been celebrated since I was a kid. I cannot honestly remember the last time I have even had a birthday cake. :o/ Not from my parents, not from my husband, not from my kids! I blow it off year after year like its not a big deal, but it hurts. The Facebook "Happy Birthday" messages help, but its not the same.. I at least expect something from my husband and parents. It doesnt have to be elaborate! Just a "Happy Birthday" or something! It's like I have fallen off the face of the earth. To me, its just another typical day. Every few years it falls on President's Day (this year it does) so that means no school. Which is more noticed then my birthday. Or every few years I have to go get my license re-newed (this year for example) and I HATE having to do that. The license pictures always turn out like crap! So those are two ways to know every 4-5 years that my birthday really exists.. Other then that, its just a normal day like any other..
I guess you could say I am a twee bit jealous too.. It has never failed for the kids and I to buy or make a cake for Joe's birthday. We also make birthday cards and birthday gifts for daddy and then his family does a 'family' birthday party for him. At 27 years old this year I see that as rediculous but I am pretty sure its just my jealousy.. And really? What kind of a person would I be if I just stopped acknowledging his birthday all together like he does mine? No cake, no homemade gifts, no cards, etc.. (just like he does to me) but then that just isnt the kind of person I am. NOPE NOPE NOPE! I cant do that! Its cruel! And I know from firsthand experience the hurt it causes.. So then I thought maybe I should explain to Joe hwo hurtful it is.. Well I tried that a few years ago.. (it was my 21st birthday to be exact) and not a thing has changed.. I did go to Pablos for my 21st to get dinner and a drink, but it was my plans, my doing, and my birthday money that paid..
This year, I told Joe I will be spending my birthday money on me!! (Not like its a huge ton, but its going to be spent on me!!) And let me tell you, I HATE spending money on me. I am not even kidding!!!!! For example, I went to the Burnsville Mall with Debbie and Pammy, we went to Bath & Bodyworks! I LOVE that store and I found a few scents that I would LOVE to buy the lotions and hand soaps in, but did I?! NOPE! I couldnt justify spending money on me! I have to overcome that.. :o/
So with my birthday money this year I was thinking maybe I should buy Nathan's scrapbook.. but then I thought about it and that would benefit Nathan (when and if it gets finished). Yup, I LOVE to scrapbook more then anything else, but in the end, that would be a gift for Nathan. So then I thought about buying some iTunes songs becuase I LOVE music, but again it'd go to waste.. I would download the songs, try to listen to them in the car, on my computer or where ever and then get screamed at because its too loud or because someone doesnt like the kind of music I do or because the girls like to get up and dance when I play music and then everyone gets screamed at.. BLAH! So then... I thought maybe I should go back to Bath & Bodyworks to get those lotions and soaps that I wanted but I thought that I would be better off buying clothes because I have a limited supply.. But then when I think of that and I remember that I have a goal to loose weight and then those new clothes would be junk because they wouldnt fit anymore (hopefully). So really I am just always finding a reason to not spend money on myself..
I would much rather spend the money on diapers, clothes for the kids (they grow like weeds), or toilet paper for the house. It seems SO stupid, but that is 110% what I am always spending money on.. I dont know, maybe once the kids are grown I will be able to spend money on myself, but I am doubting it..
Oh boy... This has turned into quite the rant.. I guess I am on a ranting spree right now..
So back to the original plans for this post, 25 is not something I look forward to.. I used to wish for this age to come.. Now I wish I could be 5 again.. Funny how that works aint it?! I have decided that this is the year I will start doing things for myself to celebrate my birthday.. If it means making and decorating my own cake, or going by myself to a movie and dinner, or buying ME my own birthday gift, well then so be it! I cant keep counting on people who dont come through for me I guess you could say.
So here goes nothing!! Since my actual birthday is Monday this year, I am thinking I should take myself out on Saturday.. Maybe head to Mankato to hit up their Hollister and see if they have any sweatshirts left in my size.. And eat lunch or dinner by my lonesome.. and maybe even just sit in my car for the day and read a book.. I dont know.. Something to do for just me.. for me, about me, etc.. I think I deserve that for at lease one day of the year..
Oh crap! Joe is working Saturday.. Go figure.. :o( Guess I will have to do it Sunday after church.. I need someone to hold me accountable to this.. That or steal me away and go with.. I vouch to shut my cell phone off so I cant get complaints about when I will be home or how naughty the kids are being too! :o)
Sunday it is!! Or Satuday after Joe gets home! I am planning on a ME day and there isnt anything anyone can do to change it!! So HA! :o)
Crap I am even going to go out and buy myself a little birthday cake! I will sit in my van and eat it by myself haha! That sure doesnt help the whole 'loose weight' goal, but hey!
Anyways, here is to turning 25! I will celebrate for ME! No kids! Maybe a husband or a friend to go with! But its all about ME! :o)
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